cOnfesSions of a faLLen aNgeL

random thoughts..

2005-08-13T22:38:00.000+08:00

-i am thinking of closing down this blog since i can't update that often anymore or probably ask tin's help again in changing the layout.

-arpt training's getting cooler and cooler everyday. i already hit the bull's eye thrice and had a lot of good shots already. i am REALLY hoping to be accepted in the varsity.

-the 1st game of the IAC was soooooooooooo great. well aside from i was the one doing the statistics for my blockmates(with tin's help), there were plenty of cute and **yummy** guys playing (including my team composed of: CARLOS, IGOL, WYSON, MARK, CARLO VITA, DAX, MON SANTOS). they were oh-so-great and oh-so-good.they won,by the way..58-28.haha.weeeeee

-i hate that niKABAYO for comparing carlos with a shrimp!if carlos is a shrimp, then he is probably the most delicious!haha.carlos will never be a shrimp.everything about him is perfect from top to bottom,side by side.he is every girl's dream boy,i swear!:D

-rj is ok.we are currently under a not-so-good "aura". people are sooooooooooooooo pathetic!thanks for the support and understanding, anyway ***raises eyebrow*** huh..i hate feeling like this.i'm getting so confused and bothered.i hope he's still holding on.we can do this.to quote tasha and april"I love you, pare. Let's work together." i know we'll get over this sooooooon.:(

-i am dying.i am failing.i so want to shift..now na!Lord,please help me.

come and shoot me

2005-07-19T17:43:00.000+08:00

aww man..i just came home from "danny's seminar." danny is the arpt's coach.i am trying out for the ateneo rifle pistol team varsity.it's my first time to hold a gun(although it was just a pistol) and boy,i love it!we were allowed to pratice shooting with a distance of i guess 36 yds.the target sheet is too small from afar that i could hardly take a good glimpse of the bull's eye.i won't forget this day.err..by the way,we were given pellets and target sheets.the training will start next week and the try-out's will be early september.if you want to see the pics,check out my multiply site. http://keicontreras.multiply.com the shots were not that good yet but i swear i'll do better next time.haha.arpt..come and shoot me!

by the way..the guidon issue came out already.check out the features section and read tasha's article..but before that,take a quick look at the pic there with a certain person's hand getting the waistline of the other..that's my waist and that's tasha's hands..haha.coolness.

sigh

2005-07-08T09:57:00.000+08:00

everyone can say that i have not put any sense in my past entries.in fact, they are really all senseless.it's probably because i have a lot of more important things to attend to and i hardly find the time to think of what i should write in my blog entries.

my second year in college is really hectic. my course requires a lot of readings and you really have to be good at it.unfortunately,this is just my first time to encounter such number of "unjust" reading requirements.unjust in the sense that i have not encountered quite a large number ever since i was in high school.i must admit that i am not even a "reading" person.i find reading so boring that's why i didn't get the nerves to try thick and long novels.i found them so sickening.

it's only now that i realized how necessary current events are.i didn't care about these before.yes,they make us know the latest issues in our country, but the hell,just like what april said,no matter how many times we hear the news and react about those pathetic issues,can we even do something about it?!can we make gloria step down in just a snap of a finger?!can we put robbers and rapists in jail?!WE CAN'T!this is why i don't even mind browsing the newspapers.or if ever i get the time to do so,i always end up in the entertainment section.

now,i am starting to regret why i took polsci.it's really tiring and requires a lot of determination, rationality and critical thinking.i am really trying to learn these values even if it means giving up everything that makes me happy, most especially my precious time.i can't even watch tv or surf the internet 'til the wee hours..i am not normal anymore.i feel so useless.i am already tired.

but i believe i can do this.there is still a spark of hope lingering in my youthfulness.i am still kei.i believe that i can still be the best student that i was before.i can still ace my exams and prove to all that i really deserve to be in the ateneo.i promise to be the outstanding student that i have been dreaming before.i will do my best in everything.my readings can not hinder me from achieving what i am supposed to achieve.i will not let anyone stop me from doing all of these.

+ad majorem dei gloriam+

:(

2005-07-06T21:06:00.000+08:00

i don't feel well right now.i am looking for something worthy to do.it saddens me to think that i am not doing anything worthwhile.tss.what's ironic is i keep on complaining whenever there are lots of school works and still..i keep on complaining whenever i don't have anything to do.tss.labo.:(

there's something which makes me even sadder.:(

i'm feeling better now.

2005-07-03T22:49:00.000+08:00

after a night of feeling pity for myself, i finally realized how stupid i was to keep thinking of the saddest thoughts which are really senseless.i just felt so alone.i didn't have anyone to talk to and that made me soooo unhappy.i just got used to the times when i still had "someone" to call and listen to my rantings.i was definitely frustrated.

but i am okay now.everything's okay now.we both realized what has to be realized.we had time to ponder on our mistakes and we "probably" decided not to be so insensitive again.now,i am happy although not as happy as days ago.

anyhow..monday's tomorrow.class again..tss.

not fine.

2005-07-02T21:49:00.000+08:00

i'm starting to feel bad again.i don't know why.i had a bad time last night.you see,i hate people messing up with my life..especially if i don't like those people.i can be so mean if you want me to become one.i can even be your worst nightmare.tss.i'm good to those who are good to me, but i am really bad to those who aren't.i can't understand why some people find satisfaction in meddling with other people's lives.i can't get the idea why one pretends to be so concerned, but the truth is, "she" wants you out of the way.tss.it's pathetic really and i hate it.

i just bought the belt that i've been longing to buy.i saw it a lot of times already at different places but it's only recently that i realized how cool and cowboy-ish it is.i also bought a fuschia bolero.love them.

my..i wanna go back to naga.i miss everyone there.i always want to cry.:(

hmm.

2005-06-27T16:48:00.000+08:00

i am starting to like one of my classmates.he shifted from i-don't-actually-know course to my course.he's my classmate in almost all subjects.he's cute and i like him.:)

kilig

2005-06-25T18:17:00.000+08:00

hay.i'm in cloud 9.i really feel special.actually,i am special.i have someone with me all the time..not literally..i mean there's always one person who cares about me,thinks of me,calls me,texts me,checks me..everything that a girl wishes for,i feel it.we spent 7++ minutes talking on the cellphone.he called up from his house and it's sweet.what i do not understand is he keeps on insisting that i am hiding something from him.that makes me think..is he jealous or is he just that "chismosa" to be very interested on who i am with and what i am doing..hmm..whatever.

i got a new necklace.it's nice.it's a lucky charm according to my auntie.it has a letter K on it.love it.i also have a Miraculous Medal pendant from France.i hung it together with the porcelain pendant of the necklace..for protection..:)

got to read some more..i am bored..it's raining and i hate it.it ruins my mood..tss..

sleepy.

2005-06-24T19:52:00.000+08:00

i don't know what to feel today.this afternoon,i was so happy.i found it really sweet how one calls and check on you.and it's kind of funny how one gets jealous of whoever you are with.that's nice.that's sweet.but i don't know.people are unpredictable.people change.tss.

still up and surviving..

2005-06-23T00:48:00.000+08:00

the clock says 12:50 am and i'm still awake.i'm supposed to be sleeping already but i just can't because of the never-ending readings our teachers give us.they are hell.but it's ok.i find them interesting although they are really not that interesting.coffee makes me awake and i love it.

we talked.we texted.it was fun.hmm..missing each other isn't anymore new.for two people who have known each other for like 9 years now,it would really be very hard to live a life away from each other.but it's ok.we're ok.we're happy.and i love it.i really love to be treated specially.it's a really nice feeling.

he said he'll send me vitamins soon.haha.sweet.

yumyum's nearing reality.we're excited.and poochie(temporary name)will come soon.haha.fun!

when i go back there,we'll go to the gym together.we almost have the same interests already unlike before..oh well..opposite poles attract.haha.it's only now that i learned to give his hobbies a try.i'm loving them.ateneo rifle pistol team..wait for jam and me.haha.and another thing..gym come true is a real nice slogan.haha.

haii..he's already asleep.i am still reading.later,i'll rest na.

hmm..miss bb..

sweet.

2005-06-18T20:36:00.000+08:00

i love being taken care of.it's i guess the greatest feeling for me.i am able to feel that i am loved by people.it's a really nice expeience when upon waking up at 8, you receive a message sent 2 hours earlier greeting you good morning and asking you what food do you want for breakfast.that's sweet.:)another thing..calling you "ganda" is sweeter.haha.

ddbb

2005-06-18T01:01:00.000+08:00

i am happy.weird.although i have been suffering from the endless torture our teachers give us in school, i still feel lucky.who among my blockmates have bb?nah-uh..just me,honey..anyway,keeping up with my heavy school requirements just sucks bigtime but it's still worth it since my reading [put emphasis on the knee-length readings for the 1st semester] skill is being enhanced, although i really don't have the inclination for books and stuff.but it's ok..he inspires me.he makes me feel okay.he helps me survive.that's good.:)

i will get married when i am already 26.alright..17,18 yrs..and still counting.what's 9 years of waiting?it's a piece of cake.9 years from now, we will be together.he's mine.i am his..wishful thinking?no.

he bid me goodnight.he bid me sweet dreams.he told me to pray.he said take care.that's sweet.:)

sleep i need.

:)

happiness is a matter of choice..oh yeah?

2005-06-11T23:51:00.000+08:00

abo ko na talaga..pagalpagal kong maray.maribungon na ang payo ko..dai ko na talaga aram.kadakulon nang kulang sa buhay ko ngunian.kadakulon nang maray. dai na ko maugma.dai na talaga.ngunian,sana maugma na ang gabos na tao na ngwish na sana dai na ako maugma..na sana bawion na sa ko ang gabos. you succeeded.sana maugma na kamo.ngsusuffer na akong maray.siguro kaya si mga taong inexpect ko na matabang sako,iu ang nagwawalat sako ngunian.siguro ta maugma na sinda..mayo na sinda pakiaram sa iba..akala ko pa naman barkada..sh*t,iyo palan..pagalpagal na akong maray..pagalpagal na..gustuhon ko na ibalik kung ano ako dati pero nasasakitan na akong maray..

ngunian, vale, leilanie,maugma na kamo?!

loser!

2005-06-11T21:14:00.000+08:00

L-O-S-E-R kei!damyu!haha..wala lng..just getting friggin freaked out of the current political issues..haha..joke!i am so depressed..i am in desperate need of a political adviser..haha..nah!

i am back!

2005-06-07T13:14:00.000+08:00

haha..after ng sobrang tagal na d ko pgbblog,andito na ko uli..i'm really glad i am back..haha..nmiss ko rin to no!biruin mo..nanahimik ang buhay ko kahit konti dahil hndi ako ngblog..haha..palibhasa kasi ang daming pkialamera sa mundo!kung d ba nmn sila tanga,bat sila mgbubukas ng blog ng my blog tas mgsusumbong kung kani-knino kasi nasaktan sila sa nabasa nila..hay nako,ang sobrang pathetic talaga!but much as i wnt to elaborate on this matter,i would prefer to keep my mouth close dahil bka may mga super big mouth na naman na magbukas ng blog ko tas kng anuano nanaman ikakalat at sasabihin.tangina tlga sila!

anyway..aside from being back in blogging,m back in manila na rin.sobrang walang kwenta!tanginang up kasi ang aga ng pasok kya aga rin punta ko dito khit 14 pa pasok ko..shit tlga!c nikki ksi!pero ok lng..i had fun naman sa naga..jam sessions with who else?tas usapusap pa sa fone khit sobrang lagi kami ngaaway..good thing,we're both humble enough to accept each other's mistakes kya mabilis lng kmi ngging ok..tas wat i luv most about my vacation was last june 4-5..kung anuman un,secret na malufet..sobrang lupet ng mga nngyari tas sobrang ganda..unforgettable nga eh..eto ung literal na walang tulog..haha..galing!

hay nako..d ko lam kung kelan ako babalik uli dun..sobrang ganda pg ndun..ndun yummyumyum eh..haha..miss ko na 2 sobra!

o xa..next tyme uli..

i dunno..

2005-05-08T23:48:00.000+08:00

i am out of my mind..my mind's currently in mars looking for martians!ha3..so martians, careful careful..i might catch you..nyahahaha..see how abnormal i am now?!ha3..wala lng,,.cgro kc i am floating right now..literally,i guess..ha3..putek!topak 2 dude!ha3..

anyhow..bye!**tsup

sweettttt..

2005-04-21T20:22:00.000+08:00

my day became happier when he called me..he's sweet..nkktouch sobra although i was shocked at first kasi kala ko kung ano..anyhoo..ang sweet tlga..:)

i am happy

2005-04-20T22:25:00.000+08:00

i am happy so back off!

what are the reasons?!secret!he3

luv yah!

i'm confused!

2005-04-17T15:52:00.000+08:00

I AM SO CONFUSED!LECHENG BUHAY 2..PUTEK!NAGKALAT BA NAMAN KSI ANG MGA TAONG WALANG MAGAWA SA BUHAY!gawd..they are so pathetic!shit!

if only..

2005-04-15T21:41:00.000+08:00

i am currently feeling so sad for somebody.i dunno..if only i can fly and go back to naga in a snap of a finger,i won't hesitate to do so just to check if he's already okay and to make him feel my presence..as in physically present..gawd..i hate the feeling!

putek!bsta kht nu mngyari..mmatay na kung cno mmamatay..magunaw na ang mundo at mgkaron na uli ng bagong earth,andito lang ako..shit!ayoko na..im starting to feel regretful again..p*t*n*i*a tlga!hay nako,.ella es fea!ella es estupida..paks*et xa tlga!!!!grrrr....hoy babae,&%$#@*......

he3..

bottled up emotions..oh my!

summer..argh!

2005-04-02T16:06:00.000+08:00

just one more week and il be heading back again to manila.much as i wANted to stay here,i just can't because i have to take summer classes.it pisses me off because i am really enjoying my stay here.this is the only place where i can be myself,where i can do whatever i want without being scared of getting lost or being attacked by criminals.this is the only place where i can have fun with my friends until dawn,where i can be with karl and rj whenever i want. this is the only place where i can be myself.

my 2-week stay here has already been a blast.graduation parties,early morning jamming sessions,drinking sessions,tambay-to-death,swimming pool jam session,basketball,burning the telephone lines,road trip,and a lot more..hay..i know i can never do these things in manila.i can only do these here in naga,my hometown.buti na lang,karl and rj are here to make every minute of my stay very meaningful.no one can replace them.they're simply the best..better than any other.

hay..il just make kwento when i get back to manila..

bayu!

do i have to be excited?

2005-02-23T22:43:00.000+08:00

i am just a night away before i go back to naga..

i miss my hometown and i miss everyone..

to my pet horses,i hope to see you both soon..have to slap you two hard..

sh*t u,vale!

2005-02-20T11:26:00.000+08:00

i know you're the poser!i know you're the one manipulating everything!well,if you think that you have already succeeded,better think twice.you're just an inch away fom the hundred-mile roller coaster ride!ha3.do whatever you want..i am even giving you the authority to copy and paste everything that's written here in my blog.send all the entries to your friend..i really don't care!by the way,if you do not know what an oline journal is,just tell me..i can give you a one-year orientation on the what's,how's and why's of blogging..why one year?!you might have difficulty understanding this thing!ha3..i pity you so much!!!you're sooooooo pathetic..you know what other people think of you?!that you're still madly in love with rj..and i mean madly..to the point that you're already losing your mind and doing crazy stuff just to have revenge on the person who has fooled you once in your life..besides,i can't blame rj for doing so..you're not worthy of his love!!!!you're just a toy,girl!ha3..now,after reading this,you might want to forward this again to other people..again,do whatever you want,i really don't care..after all,i am not the one emerging as a loser..in fact,i am the victor ever since the start of this battle!you're a big LOSER lilyvale boayes!!!dream on..

now if you're saying that you're my worst nightmare..then i guess,ill just see you in my dreams!!!ha3..yikes!

no posts..

2005-02-18T19:35:00.000+08:00

no posts muna for today and the next days.i always get accused of things which are soooooooooo foolish!deym!what the hell do people care about my blog?!this is my blog and ill write whatever i want..

and to my ever dearest "maninira," it's so nice of you to add untrue stuff to my posts and forward it to your friend..ha3.if you think that i'm already getting pikon,i am so sorry dear..you're not yet halfway in threatening me..ha3..dream on,horsey whoopsy..yuck!

fairy tale..

2005-02-17T18:49:00.000+08:00

i'm his princess and he's my prince..we will live happily ever after..maybe not now,but in the future..

:D

if i'm not in love with you..

2005-02-16T19:20:00.000+08:00

why the title?uhmm..la lng..he3..i guess i'm showing again the symptoms of being in love..aww mahn..hai.with whom?with who else!!!he3..no man can make my heart beat like this than my prince!gawdd...im missing him sooooooo badly.i'm looking forward to seeing him sometime soon.hai..i don't care what other people say.i love him and i am the only one who can understand what i feel..i know,in my heart,he feels the same way too..

anyway..there's this person TRYING to irritate me..yikes!she's sooooo pathetic.if she thinks she can fool me,she better think twice.papunta pa lang siya,pabalik na ko noh!ha3.yikes tlga!if she's reading this,i am so sorry,dear..you're not the type of person who can destroy kei contreras.i pity you,bitch!ha3..

i have lots of works to do this weekend.hai..i hope i'll be able to finish all of them.

til here..gotta do my work na!bye!mwuahugs..:)

whatta day!

2005-02-12T20:30:00.000+08:00

it's been a long time since i last posted an entry here in my ever - beloved blog.i had a lot of experiences during the past days.some were sooooo cooollllll and happy while some were not.there were also kilig moments that really made me float in cloud 9.hay..much as i wanted to tell all of those stories to you,my readers,i just can't because there might be other people reading my blog and then freak out again for reading something concerning either her or bby?hihi..ah basta..whatever happened these past days are just for me and him alone..hihi..mean!

anyway..about the poser..i don't know..i don't know her but she said that she's just irritated of leilanie.she was the one who created the fake account and whatever her purpose is,i don't know and i don't have any idea.hay nako..ok lang..as long as she's not causing me pain.yes,i am selfish and i dont care.i don't even give leilanie a damn!after everything?!o come on?!ha3..

my birthday celebration was okay although leilanie destroyed my day.she bugged me again about the poser whom i don't have any idea of whoever she is.it also rained.the day was gloomy.so,to make the story short, i cried at the end of the day. i went to tin's house and told her what i was feeling.i really felt bad because it was my birthday and i was supposed to be happy because it's my 18th birthday,but sad to say..i wasn't.before the big day,i already shopped for some stuff and foods which mama will cook fo the next day.

darnit!i think i'll stop here.my mood was destroyed by some shitty people..darnit!

my apology..:(

2d hell week na 'to!

2005-02-06T10:35:00.000+08:00

all the while, i was thinking that the hell week's already over, but i am completely wrong..looking at my schedules for the whole week and in the next weeks, i realized that i have to work like a horse..is this college life?!research papers,papers,modules,papers,papers,papers???good Lord!i really hate the life i have now.i'm starting to get tired of all the school stuff that i have to work on. they're just sooooooo head-aching.i hate this feeling..

yesterday,after NSTP and after i ate my lunch,i rested fo a while and headed directly to the ateneo lib.i looked for books which i can use as my references for this stupid arp!good thing,i found two.il got to the lib again this afternoon and research again..whoah!this is life!hu3..

bye for now..

hell week over..:D

2005-02-04T18:38:00.000+08:00

thank God,the long wait is over..whew!finally,i'm done with all the stuff that ive been thinking of since last week although there are still a few things which i need to work on this weekend,eg. reaction paper for zoo about the social behavior of animals, character analysis for lit and zoo long exam on my birthday!darnit!

anyway..i'm kinda frustrated with what's happening to me lately..yes,i might sound so cliche,but this is again about rj and "havaianas girl."sometime this week, rj asked me about the email i sent to his very pathetic girlfriend.upon reading his text message,i was kinda surprised because i was being suspected again for doing something bad.yes,i am bad and im proud of it.but for his information,i will never waste my time on someone who's not even worthy of my glimpse.she's such a loser!after reading his message,i immediately called him and asked him about this.he said that leilanie told him about the email i sent her.duh?!i was alarmed with what he said so i told him that she was the one who added me in friendster and even sent me a message saying that i should remove rj's pic in my friendster account.leilanie talked to me and said that she did not add me nor send me any message.she thought i was even the one who created the account being used by the poser.like hello?!is she that important to be created with an account?!yuck!!!such an idiot!i was sooooooooo f-ing mad with what she said.she's really pathetic!i have not gone mad yet to do such thing.hello????!!!!

the next day,she forwarded me the message the poser sent her.guess what?!i don't know how he/she did it but he/she was able to open either my account or rj's.i don't know talaga.she sent leilanie the message i sent rj.ok,this was about the "baby" thing.because of this,leilanie lost her mind again and went crazy over this.yikes talaga!she's insane!ha3..well..sorry to say,i did not know anything about it.i don't know how that poser did it.besides,my password's so hard to remember and i can still open my yahoo account.,i was thinking that if the poser got the message from the sent items folder of my account,then he/she must have changed the password.but no!i can still open it.so,my conclusion is that he/she was able to guess or change rj's password.i really don't know.you know what?these things will not happen had she not messed with rj and me.these are all her fault.there's no one to blame but her!!!

anyway..i just had my 3rd long exam in math this moning.i don't wanna talk about it.buti nlng,we have one cancellable long exam, so if get a low score,teacher will cancel it.

these are all for now..updates sometime soon..

bye!mwuah!

research proposals,anyone?

2005-02-01T22:07:00.000+08:00

whew!i just finished making my tentative research proposals for my argumentative research paper.it's kinda hard thinking of different topics, considering that they have to have a lot of sources, especially those from the library.it really ached my head.hay..after this,il give myself a cool hilamos and then sleep.i have a long exam in zoo lab first thing in the morning and then math and then english and lit.hay..what a day!

island girl replied already,but she diverted the topic again to another topic..ha3..see..that just shows that she's really lying..or..bragging about things which she doesn't have!i guess,ill consider that a mortal sin!ha3..yikes talaga..

anyway..i was able to talk to rj..he was so cute..he was like a little kid kasi his voice was so cold and deep..hay..;)

hell week..

2005-01-31T22:58:00.000+08:00

o gosh!i just finished answering the 1st sheet of the math long test #3.it's okay although i'm not sure of my answers.i got some of them,but i also did not get a few..darnit!math long test #3 is on friday.i'm scared.i don't want to fail..sh*t permutations,combinations,binomial theorem!!!tomorrow,ill send the sample long exams to papa via fax..he'll answer them then send them back to me through fax uli.he3..that's how we do it.:D

anyway..guess who made me laugh to death today???who else,but that "havaianas/island" girl!!!ha3..here's what happened.the other day,i read one of the bulletins that she posted.it was a survey.there was this question which asked "do you take off your shoes when you're at home?"this was her answer: "yes,i take off my shoes.i wear my havaianas when i'm at home." i was like..okay..havaianas?at home?is she crazy?!does she even know how much a pair of it cost?i got pissed with what she've been doing and telling me so i threw this question to her..ha3..i even told her to give me her add so i can send her some pics and infos about these EXPENSIVE BRAZILIAN flipflops..you see..students here in ateneo use havaianas when they go to school since they really are uber expensive and there she is bragging about wearing havaianas when she's at home..duh?!..they're not even worth-weaing when one's at home.ha3..and besides,havaianas are not yet available in naga!so,where the hell will she get those flipflops???in masbate???!!!o come on..ha3..tsktsk..i really pity her..

at first,i thought she really has one..but when she replied today,i was able to confirm that everything that she said was just a lie..ha3..yikes talaga..she diverted the topic to some other things instead of answering my question..her reply's something like.."you know what kei,nkakaawa ka..you'll do anything just to piss me off..sori to tell you i'm not..etc."when i read this,i replied:"i'm not pissing you off.in fact i'm helping you.i'm just concerned.people might think differently about you.just think of this as an interaction between the civilized and the uncivilized.me being the former and you being the latter."ha3..see,she's bumping onto the wong person..let's see who'll surrender first..ha3..i'm mean!!!

hay..this week's one hell week!!!i'm soooooooo tired already.my brain's already drained..sheesshhhh..o gawdddd..

hay..til here..:D ciao!

whew!

2005-01-30T22:04:00.000+08:00

i woke up at past 9 this morning,ate breakfast,finished my english journal,took a bath,brushed my teeth,prepped myself up,went to chicken bacolod with mom and pop for lunch, went back sa house, studied zoology,reviewd math with papa,went to nbs to buy some stuff,went next to jollibee,then at chicken bacolod again and then went home again,ate snacks,studied again,watched tv,reviewed math with papa again,rested,ate dinner,went to tin's house,went back to my house,internet,downloaded songs from cd to media player,studied zoo and math,currently making an entry!!!

those made up my day!whew!!!the day was tiring.i was able to finish the papers which i need to pass tomorrow.ill start my zoo paper right after posting this and then give myself a break.whew tlga!!!

anyway..i was able to talk to rj..la lng..he said i was astigin daw..ha3..but noooooo..i'm not..and i don't mean to.it's just that i am quite uncomfortable of being sweet again just like what i was before when we're still together..it's like..uh...got my point?i want to talk to him just like how we talk before..you know..sweet..but..i dunno..i don't know talaga..hay..Lord,give me enlightenment please..

ok..ill end this here..bye!

11 days to go before my 18th birthday!!!

at long last!

2005-01-30T01:33:00.000+08:00

weeeehhhh..i'm finally back in blogging.i missed this so muchiest!my stupid pc is all well again..he3..i just hope it won't be attacked by any internet virus.this is the 3rd time that it was reformatted.i am never looking forward to another reformatting session with another new technician.buti na lang there are a lot of computer shops along katipunan.it wa easy for me to find someone who will fix my pc,..

anyway..next week's a super hell week..we are asked to submit 4 papers on monday just for one subject..darnit!it's so hectic talaga!argumentative research papers suck!what's worse is that i am not used to going to the lib and conducting thorough researches..:'(this is i guess the ultimate challenge this second semester..anyway,it's okay..i was able to fix my schedules already so there really is no problem.

rj and i texted this evening..wala lang..we talked about some stuff.la lang..i miss him..he's still the same rj i know..he's still sweet..awww...

this is all for now..got to start with my journal..

12 days before my 18th birthday!!!coolness!

updates updates..

2005-01-22T15:49:00.000+08:00

hay..i really don't know what to write..it took me a few minutes before i touch the keyboard and start writing about the things that happened these past days..hay..basta..all i know is that i hate my pc so much..lintek kasing internet yan..ang bobo talaga..grrr....i've lost my patience already kaya nga i don't even expect na ill be able to buy an internet card anytime soon since hindi ko naman nagagamit internet sa bahay..it's really hard to get over a day without touching the keyboard and surfing the internet for some necessary,as well as useless stuff.i am obliged to spend more since i have to go to the internet cafe if i want to surf the net.ang stupid talaga!!!kainisssss!!!

anyway..i had just woken up from a very nice sleep na bitin din kasi mama woke me up to ask about something.then,when i went back to my bed,i couldn't sleep na..aww...hu3..but it's okay..at least,i was able to sleep kesa naman hindi.dba?

yesterday was my math midterms..mahirap o madali?OKAY lang..hay..i don't know..i'll pass naman siguro but i'm not sure if ill be able to get a high score..:(my brain got drained after the test.it was aching sobra!lintek kasi na matrices yan..buti pa ang logic..hay..well..my course's polsci not mathematical finance noh!how would you expect me to be a genius in math???

kanina,before april and i went to the cornfield para sa nstp,we dropped by at bellarmine hall to get our advisory marks..i got high grades and i'm so happy!i immediately called papa and told him what my grades are..sayang nga,i did not get an A..ill get one or two or three or more in the next half of the 2nd sem..he3..

hay..til here!

hay..

2005-01-19T17:25:00.000+08:00

darnit!darnit!darnit!

my pc's freaking out again!gawdddd..ive completely lost my patience.i am already tired of dealing with that stupid computer!!!i'm here again in the internet cafe,surfing the net..my pc's trouble is that i can't surf the net properly..there are lots of arte.hay nako..ang stupid talaga..grrrr....

anyway..the other night,my friends were at my house.we did our report for zoo..and guess wat?while i was about to take a bath,i heard my phone rang.i thought it was just karl..but nooooo..it was rj!!!!ha3..he's calling from their landline.i really did not expect that he would call me.we did not have any communication these past days.his cp's under repair so there was no way for us to talk.so..i was really surprised when he called.he asked me how am i na..and what ive been up to.he also said he missed me already..he3..it's really ka-kilig-kilig,but i tried not to show it kc i didn't want to get carried away..hay..i'm moving on now no..he3..he's still my bestfriend and i don't think anything has changed after the stupid event that happened.the only difference is that we don't have any commitments for now since he is still hooked into someone..ha3.

anyway..here are a few pics which i took the other day..

i called this a day

2005-01-17T23:16:00.000+08:00

huwwwaaaawwwww..i missed blogging!!!he3..para namang antagal kong d nkapagblog..well,as what ive told u a few days ago,there's this virus which attacked again my pc so i had to ask a favor from my friend to reformat it for me.buti na lang,he did not ask any payment.i just got my pc last night.i was busy surfing the internet so i forgot to post an entry.

anyway..

last saturday,papa and nikki arrived for a supposedly 2-day vacation.nikki had irregular classes because of the school's intramurals.so instead of attending the barn dance,they just went here.what's good was the school's admin cancelled today's classes since according to them.."today's a rest day for everyone daw."he3.so in short,papa and nikki extended thei vacation.coolness!

it was mama's bday yesterday.aww..mama has gown a year older again..he3.papa,mama,nikki,tin and i ate at max's.we had fun.the foods were great although the service was so poor.:(yesterday was the first time that we got irritated of their S-L-O-W service.we went home first after eating.we fixed some stuff and then headed to ali mall.nikki and i bought ballet flats.i really wanted to buy a white pair of it,so i grabbed the opportunity yesterday.we went home afterwards.

kanina,karl was here.he paid us a visit and helped me download my encarta dvd.it was so tagal pero it was successful.jam,tin,apil and carl were also here.we finished our powerpoint document for our report in zoo tomorrow.they left early nga..

hay..that's it..la nmn mxado..:)

what a day!

2005-01-15T16:08:00.000+08:00

i just finished having a delightable pizza experience.it was superb!well..that's life whenever papa's around.i always get what i want..he3..nah!not that i am a spoiled brat;it's just that i don't get to eat pizzas when it's just mama and i are here..

i started my day by waking up at 6 to get ready for our block's community orientation.this was a requirement for our nstp.we went to brgy.holy spirit here in qc.the school's name is paaralang elementarya ng holy spirit.we were all asked to wear white shirts.our meeting place was ateneo's cornfield.we rode the jeepney and headed to the school.the place is not that far,but it's kinda creepy there.the school is surrounded by small stores owned by the people from the urban poor.the teachers who oriented us said that it's dangerous to go outside especially if we are unfamiliar of the place because there are a lot of drug pushers around.they might think that we are rich kids and bully us.

after the orientation,we were introduced to our tutees.my "real tutees" were absent so a different student was assigned to me.i introduced myself to her and gave her a short orientation.i asked her what she wanted me to teach her.she replied.."ung a e i o u."it was pitiful that these little kids do not even know the alphabet.upon knowing this,i immediately taught her the 26 letters of the alphabet.i really tried my best not to lose my patience.after all,she is just in grade 1,so what should i expect?i treated her just like my sister.i wanted her to learn more.she will be my tutee until the first half of the next school year.

while we were discussing the alphabet,she told me.."ang sungit sungit ng mga teachers namin.lagi kaming pinapalo.buti ka pa ang baitbait mo.."awww..i was so touched!she also said.."sna pag-grade3 ko,dito ka na magturo."huwaaaatttttt?????me????teaching pre-school studes????gawwwddd...no way!he3..it's not even in the list of my possible future careers..he3..but still,i was touched.

we left the school at about 1130 in the morning.we were dropped off at ateneo.our block decided to have our block lunch at mang jimmy's.we rewarded ourselves with sisig,porkchop,liempo and beef tapa.there were 12 plates of ulam,6 plates of rice and 4 litres of softdrinks.we had a great lunch.

after that,tasha dropped us off at ken afford.april and i walked towards our apartments.i rested fo a while when i reached home.then nikki,papa and i went to the blue eagle gym,checked for the results,met up with tin at nbs,bought some stuff,purchased a supreme pizza at pizza hut,went home and ate our snacks.that was a terrific one.

nothing more for today.i'm still tired and i want to rest pa..

bye!

of beauty and vanity..

2005-01-14T19:03:00.000+08:00

these are a few of the latest pics that i took this week..

im a black chic..he3..see the spag?that's from ukay-ukay..new york and company mehhhhnnnn..:D

i couldn't figure out my english homework so i just took a pic of myself..nyaknyak..

that's taken at kostka..

me,mancx and sobbie

me and mancx

so,that's it!

what happened today.

2005-01-14T18:09:00.000+08:00

i had a great day today.i woke up at 830 to prepare for my 1030 class..i'm starting to hate math again..we're studying combinatorics(counting techniques,etc.)..it's kinda confusing and it really needs concentration and great thinking..argh!!!il train myself this weekend to be more concentrated to the things that i'm doing especially that it's a necessity in my math subject..he3..

i did not feel like attending my english and lit classes this pm.i was still sleepy and i wanted to take a rest..but being the obsessive-compulsive girl that i am,i still went to school.in english,we discussed facts,opinions and preferences.in lit,we discussed the story "magnifiscence."it's about sexual molestation in the 40's.it's kinda funny but you'll surely learn a lesson(??)he3..

after lit,i fetched tin at the lib.we went to kostka to fetch april.carl was also there.we talked for a few minutes then headed afterwards to starbucks.we took our snacks there..btw,i hated the croissant that i ordered.it was sooooo makunat and i had a hard time slicing it.carl also messed with me..he insisted that i place the butter and jam at the same time(the butter fist then the jam) which i did not want to do..i got pikon so i told him to eat my food na lang..ha3..

after there,we went to nbs..there was this book which caught my attention.its title is"How to Mend a Boken Heart."it was sooooo funny and great!!!ha3..i could have bought it if it was not that expensive.it costs 500 bucks..and where do you think will i get such amount of money..papa?o come on..nyaknyak..anyway..i just read there.he3..i finished reading it..and boy..was it great!i was able to relate with it and learned some lessons,too..he3.it's sooo funny..there was also this book which costs twice the price of the first book.i got attracted to its beautiful cover that's why i want to buy it din..

we also saw pretty valentine's day cards..i'll buy some and just mail them this february..he3..

so,that's basically it..i called it a day..im excited..papa and nikki will be here this weekend.mama's bday is on sunday..we'll surely have fun..;)

i'm dead tired..

2005-01-13T13:57:00.000+08:00

my pc at home's not working well.i think a virus from nowhere attacked it again.it's not working the way that it should.it's sooooooo irritating.that made me think that my being able to check my friendster and yahoo account is its kapalit.darnit tlga!papa's gonna come on saturday.i asked borgs to give papa all the installer cds.ill have my pc fixed here.what's more irritating is that i have papers to work on this weekend and i won't be able to do them because of my pc's insanity.

well..i just had my zoo lecture exam this morning.it's damn hard and i am not a hundred percent sure if ill be able to get a high score..but i still hope i would.i want to get higher grades.he3.who wouldn't want to,anyway?

after my exam,i went home immeditely and indulged myself in a 2-hour sleep..yepyep..it was definitely the greatest.i was able to make bawi all the super late sleeping times i had because of studying.yeah..college life's really that hard.i'm expecting more in the next years.i'm kinda training myself now to get used to this kind of life..early wake-up times and super late sleeping times.it's hard but if it would mean excelling in my studies,then it's just ok.

after this entry,ill be heading again to my next class..it's pe101.it's sooooo boring,but it's ok.i get to see one of my crushes here in ateneo.he's sitting in front of me..he3..

i'm still sick.my colds and cough are worsening.they're not getting any better,but i hope they will sometime soon..or might i say..asap!!!ha3..

til here.more updates in the next days!

i'm happy..

2005-01-12T16:49:00.000+08:00

last night,i was not able to study well for my math long exam this morning.tin and carl were at my house.carl was doing his fil paper and tin was there to do something too.while carl was doing his work,tin and i were talking to each other.i was crying so hard because aside from not feeling well(i have sipon and ubo),i was also thinking about a lot of things.things which i consider as problems.things which really hurt me.my problems are not only about my heartaches..my heartaches just occupy a little part of the whole thing bothering me.get this: my amazing phone line's redirected..my 3315 prepaid phone's got no load..my pc's going nuts again..i have long exams in the next 2 days and i am suffering from cough and colds..how sad is that???unlucky i am..hay..

anyway..enough of those sad thoughts.let me share (not brag) about the happy moments i had today.my day started at 0730.i attended my zoo lab class.zoo's kinda irritating me.my teacher's not that good and the lessons suck!now.my seat's at the leftmost back of the room.just picture it for yourself.i am seated near the door.while i was doing my experiment,i heard my classmates saying my surname.i got intrigued so i stood up.when i stood up,i saw my surname on the board.i thought it was because of something stupid,but i was sooooo wrong.written on the board was this..TOP FIVE SCORES: 1. Contreras (the list goes on)..i was so shocked because i really did not expect that i would get the highest score in the lab exam.my classmates were asking who i am daw.i just kept quiet.i did not want to brag about it although deep inside my system,no one could be happier.:)

after zoo,i have a 1-hour break.my next class's math and we have a long exam.i was kinda scared since i was not able to study well the night before.my classmates and i went immediately to the caf and reviewed.i was so scared that the test might be hard.but unlike the feeling i usually have before an exam,i was not that nervous.yeah..ours is just math 12.we do not take up calculus and those nerdy math stuff,but still,it's cracking my head.our lesson's logic.we're not dealing with numbers.we were dealing with letters and symbols and laws and rules and principles..got that?there were 6 questions.each corresponded to 15 or 16 points.i really thought it was going to be a hard one,but God's so good,it wasn't.i finished answering the test just in time.i was confident with my answers that's why i am really hoping to get a perfect score(A).i was kidding pa nga..sana i'll get perfect para once in my college life,i got an A in MATH!!!ahahahah..yeah yeah..our math's for a year only.when i reach 2nd year,i won't take up math anymore..yahoo..i just can't wait!!!ha3..

hmm..i'll end this here.i still have to go to PC express and ask how much the repair of my stupid computer cost.byebye!:D

i want you to understand..i hope you will.

2005-01-11T11:15:00.000+08:00

I am writing this entry not because of anything else.i don’t care what people will think of me after they read this.i don’t care who will get hurt or who will become happy.i just want to tell everyone,especially those who hardly understand me what I feel and why I feel this way.i am tired already.i am so tired already.i am tired of explaining and making them understand my feelings..making them understand what’s inside my heart.

I know I should not make a big deal out of this but I can’t help it.i have been hurting a lot of people already and it’s making me sad.i know I have confused you lately,but please let me explain for the last time the reasons for all of these.this is my moment so please bear with me.

It’s almost 4 months now since I lost the person whom I dearly love.he was the person who has already become a part of my life.it’s really hard to live every single day of my life with the other half of my heart missing(it’s with that person).it’s even more painful to celebrate every special occasion without him with me and without me with him.it’s so hard and it’s really painful.

Now,let me tell you the story of our lives.let me tell you how our love started and how it came to an end.

I was in grade 2 when I met this boy.we were phonepals then.who would expect that from childhood phonepals,we would become the best of friends?we talked a lot just like other people.the only difference was that we were separated by telephone lines which served as the only way for us to converse and share stories.it was hard because we didn’t get to see each other.we were friends but through the telephone lines only.we lived in the other subdivision then.we were just renting a small house.

Finally,my parents decided to transfer.we transferred to our own newly-built house.i did not expect that it would be built near his place.their house was just a few streets away from ours.this opportunity helped us to see and finally..meet each other.from the telephone lines separating us,we finally saw each other’s faces.we were so happy then.we would still talk to each other.we even had crushes on one another.those were our childhood days.

Our happy friendship ended when I got irritated of him because of some senseless reasons which I,myself, did not know.i never wanted to talk to him anymore.i never wanted to see him.i did not care.the only memories I had of him were his letters,photographs and gifts.those were just simple stuff,yet definitely the sweetest.

I was in grade 6 when I learned that somebody owns his heart already.so what?!i did not care about it.a year had passed and this girl who owns his heart transferred to our school.i would often see him in our school.he was always there to fetch his girl.we would catch glimpse of each other and even smiled.there was this little regret in me during that time.i could have been this girl who takes hold of his heart.i could have been this girl whom he fetches after classes.i could have been her..but because of my unreasonable insanity and stupidity..i was not her.

After 2 years,we got the chance to talk again.after all the stories about him that I heard,laughed and made fun of,we finally talked to each other again.we became textmates.we shared a lot of stories which we missed during those times when I hated him.i did not know that he was courting already.unlike when we were still little kids,he did not ask permission that he would court me.i just let him do what he wanted.i was flattered with the concern that he was showing me.he would say I love you’s and I miss you’s.i would not send him any reply not because I was mad at him but because I did not want to do anything stupid again.there was a feeling of “kilig” whenever he would tell these words to me.

It was on the 1st of april, 2002 when I finally decided to give this boy a chance.i did not want him to be my friend only.i wanted to give him a chance to prove what he’s worthy of.we became a couple.unlike other couples who share open relationship,ours was a “secret one.”I was not allowed then to have a boyfriend yet.we were already 10 months as a couple when my parents knew about our sort of “illegal relationship.”they were at first mad but they gave up.they would allow me to have a boyfriend as long as I won’t neglect my studies.i did not break my promise.i proved it to them.i managed to become the valedictorian and excel in my studies even if I have a boyfriend.they were happy for me..they were happy for us.

We spent a lot of happy moments together.we shared 2 years and 5 months of laughs,tears,hugs,kisses and memorable moments.we were always present on special family gatherings.we felt like we're a real couple.we have been through different problems and succeeded in surviving them all.we were the sweetest.we were everybody’s ideal couple.we were the best!!!

After graduation,I was sent here in manila to study.he was left in naga.we had a long – distance relationship.yes,it was hard,but I really tried my best to make him feel how much I love him and how much I treasure him.i would even spend big amount of money just to purchase phonecards so that I can call him.i would cry rivers while begging papa to let me go back to naga for a 2 to 3 – day vacation.i would go back as much as I could.i emailed him letters telling stories about my life here without him and how much I have been longing to be with him.i did all that I could.but just like any other fairytales,our story ended.what’s sad is that ours was not a happy ending.another girl took him away from me.a lot of people messed with us.what’s worse is I was not in naga to fight for him and for myself.we were separated by distance.all I did was cry.in a snap of a finger,everything that we worked hard for was gone.all the memories that I have of him were gone.everything was gone..including him.

Now, I lost the person whom I have loved the most.he was my ideal man.he was incomparable.he was perfect.

i do not know if he will still come back.i thought everything that happened between the two of us was because of destiny.i have lived my life in destiny.i thought it was destiny.until now,i am still hoping that destiny will bring him back to me.i know someday..somehow..he'll find his way back to my arms.

I am in pain now,but I do not have any regrets.i will NEVER have regrets.i spent 2yrs and 5months of happy and sad moments with him.nobody can replace him in my heart.he will always be the person I used to call “baby.”he will always be the person whom I used to care for.he will always be in my heart no matter what happens.

I do not normally take grudge against other people,especially to those whom I do not know.but who can blame me if my wrath against the girl was in its highest?i lost the person whom I have loved more than my life because of her.she can not understand me.all she is thinking of is herself.she never tries to understand what I feel.

I am still in contact with him.we still talk and we are still close to each other.i know every inch of him and he does,too, with me.we are even the bestest best buds.we still share stories and go out together.we were like what we were before. The only difference is that we are not together anymore.i do not know if there is still love, but I still hope there is.

With what we are doing, a lot of people get mad at me.my friends missed to understand my point.they do not even try to understand what I feel.they keep on telling me to move on.yes,I am moving on, but I am doing it in my own way.i appreciate their kindness and concern,but I do hope they understand me,too.i do not want to be hypocrite to say that I do not love him anymore because I still do..so much.but I am aware of my limits.unlike what the girl and her friends did,I won’t mess up with them.i am trying to adjust to this kind of life..a life without him.what’s bothering me is that other people want me to follow what they want.doing it will be harder.i do not want to do something which I do not want to do.no one can dictate me the things that I have to do.i am moving on,but I am doing it in my own way.in a way where I am comfortable.in a way where I won’t get hurt and cry.in a way that only me can understand.

I appreciate what my friends are doing for me.i treasure their advices a lot.i hope with this entry, they would realize that it is never easy to throw away something which I used to have (love).it is never easy to put to waste all the memories I had with him.it is never easy to FORGET about him.it’s never easy.I WON’T and I WILL NEVER.

I hope you’ll try to understand me.i hope.

Just leave a message in the tagboard if you want to.thank you.

this is a surprise!

2005-01-10T19:02:00.000+08:00

let me ask you to guess again where i am now?im here at home..so what?!yes,that's exactly my point..im typing this entry here at my very own house..what does that mean?it means i have already succeeded in opening my blog account and friendster account, too.what's making me sad is that i can't open yahoomail..hu3.but anyway,it's just okay..what's important is that i have finally opened my friendster accoung..yahoooooo!!!ahahaha..

now let me tell you what happened for the day..everything was just like the ordinary..i woke up,prepped myself up,go to school,attended my classes,chika with my schoolmates,strolled with tin,ate..what else could be extraordinary?NONE!

while i was on my way home,i felt my cellphone vibrated.i was so surpised to see that the text was from gwapo..no,he did not use his no.it was somebody else's.what was written on the message was me again being sort of interrogated and thrown up with some nerve-racking questions:what did i write in my blog???argh!!!yes,i was the reason again for her gilfriend's insanity..shesshhh..it really irritated me..what did that mean?i was again being blamed by his pathetic gilfriend.gawwwddd..i really can't take her stupidity anymore.i respect gwapo so much,but i do not like what she's doing anymore..im fed up already.ive grown tired of her selfishness and superrrrr unfair judgments.she's going overboard!!!!

i hate the feeling of being blamed.grrr..i understand gwapo's point,but his gilfriend's making everything so confusing..she's messing things up!how immature is that?!gawd..if she can only feel what im feeling..darnit!well..so what?!what does she care?this is my blog and it's not my fault if she gets hurt with what i write here..this is supposed to be an ONLINE JOURNAL(**emphasis on the word "journal!)..this is where i write my thoughts and feelings..so,why mess up with me?!mind you own business,ok?stop messing with me!!!deym!

anyway..this one's for gwapo:i'm sorry if everything's going topsy-turvy again..ive been telling you a lot of times to open up your EYES and your MIND.before i left,i sent you a short reminder..i hope you have not forgotten about it yet.i don't expect you to side with me.i just WANT you to think MATURELY!!!don't be fooled with what you see and what you hear!i'm not there to defend myself.it's really hard for my part.tell your girlfiend to grow up!tell her to talk to me and stop bothering you!if she's brave enough,tell her to talk to me..besides,you don't have to worry..i'm LEARNED enough to know my limits..i won't stoop down for her..i'm sory and i hope you understand.

for you,stupid girl:what do you care?stop messing with me and my blog!if you don't want to get hurt,then don't open my blog!pkelam ko sayo!who gave you the authority ba kasi to open other people's jounal?!grow up!!!you child no more!yikes!!!

hay..nuff of her..she doesn't deserve my time..yikes talaga!

i have to eat pa..til next time!:)

grrrrr...

2005-01-09T18:26:00.000+08:00

guess where i am now?im hir in a nearby computer cafe..i cnt open my friendster and yahoo account sa house..it pisses me tlga..grrr...nkakainis.so what's the use of having my pc at home?at the moment, its primary purpose is just for school stuff and chatting(ym).the ones which i love doing most..friendster and yahoomail..are the ones which i can't do in my pc..ang stupid tlga!!!argh!

anyway..last night,i slept at almost 12.i had a little chat with gwapo sa ym then he called me afterwards sa cellphone.it's so nice of him to call me tlga..it would take a lot of effort especially if it would mean using their landline phone because of the unavailability of his stupid cp..sna tlga maaus na phone nya.m starting to miss him so badly..

hay..anyway..there's nothing much for today..i just studied and studied and studied and studied for my stupid long exams this week..zoo and math, in particular.i studied zoo yesterday and im almost finished with my math subject.im just taking a rest now..im with tin actually..sna mabasa niya 2..nmiss ko kse xa kya i immediately went to her unit pra mngs2rbo upon seeing the lights open na..ahahahah..

finally,i was able to withdraw already..m so stupid na i forgot that you can only withdraw by hundreds lng pala..i tried to withdraw 850 but sbi nung atm machine,d dw pwede..so i withdrew 800 nlng..hay..buti nlng..

i dunno when my pc will be ok..basta all i know now is that i'm losing my patience na talaga!!!grrr...i can't tell this prob to papa kc he might get mad and blame it nnmn to me.i forced him kse to have window xp than windows blahblah..eh,ang stupid ko nga..andami pla pwede mgng virus n2ng xp na 2..hay..we paid 800 nung unang pumalpak ung pc ko..nyaknyak..deym tlga..

btw,papa already knew my bill for last month.smart sent the bill already.i thought mapapagalitan talaga ko kc ang taastaas..1661 to be exact..eh ano magagawa ko???i cnt help but txt and col noh!so wat?!sbi ni papa he'll have my credit limit downgraded daw..nyaknyak..ok lng..la na naman ako masyado tinetext eh..it so happened lng talaga na there were lots of special occasions last month..anyway,sbi nya pa he won't give me money daw sa bday ko if i don't try to lessen my bill..hmp!bahala na!

cge..til hir..taas na naman babayaran ko nito eh..he3..muahugzz to yah gwapo!:)

tell me if i have to laugh!!!ha3..

2005-01-08T11:04:00.000+08:00

i woke up so early today.i slept past 12 already then mama woke me up at quarter to 7.it's the release of the acet results today.and guess what???my sister passed!!!yahoo..she passed her first choice course..BS MGT..yeah!!!ang galing!im so proud of her..here's what i did:i woke up so early,messed up with the stupid ants inside my closet,dressed up and headed to the blue eagle gym.take note:i did not take a bath yet..nothing to worry anyway..im always mabango naman kse..nyahahahaha..coolness!!!

when i got there,there were lots of people..most of them were screaming..there's this little kaba that i felt kc i was a little scared..my sister might not pass the acet..it would kill me..pero i was 95% sure that she'll pass.i walked my way to the 2 huge blackboards surrounded by lots of people..students and parents,as well.nakipagsiksikan talaga ako ha..most of the people there kc were tall ones..eh im not that tall nga,dba?ha3..it was easy for me to get to the board.there were lots of names kya i had a hard time looking for my sister's name..i thought she didn't pass kc i already passed corpuz..so i thought there was no contreras there..pero when i checked it for the 2nd time,i saw her name na..waaahhhhh!!!no one could be happier..naduling lang pala ako sa dami ng names..ahahahah..i wanted to jump pero i had no companion with me..the people might think i'm crazy..ha3..i checked the course and saw that it was BS MGT..i became happier pa..hay nako..galing ni nikki!!!well well..that's us eh..ha3..gawwwdddd..does that mean she has to prepare herself for calculus and the dreaded accountancy???!!!!ang galing tlaga..i know she doesn't know this pero im so proud of her..

i immediately called papa..he couldn't believe it rin..he thought i was just kidding..but i didn't..twas true..when i finally convinced him that i was saying the truth,she asked for who passed pa..un!!!c nikki lang ang nakapasa and her other classmate..ang galing tlga!!!woohoo..ha3..i called nikki rin but she couldn't talk much kse she's having her class and they're discussing something..ha3..m so evil tlga..nyaknyak..

tpos un..i went home na..i bought mama pancakes and i bought sausage mcmuffin with egg for me..when i got home,papa called..he told me na i was eating na naman daw..i joked,"xmpre,ngcecelebrate kmi ni mama.."ha3..we laughed..im convincing papa to send nikki nlng to ateneo kse im there chka ganda pa nmn ng course nya..oohhh..btw,she's waitlisted pa pala sa scholarship..another good news..when it was my time then,i got waitlisted din sa scholarship and was eventually accpted..ha3..angkkkuuullllll tlga ng ateneo..they love us,i guess..hhahahaha..

another reason to be happy..uhmm..not actually happy..to laugh pala..stupid girl is so funny talaga..ha3..kung anuman ginawa nya..sikretong malupppeeeettttt!!!!bka kse buksan nya na naman 2 tas sumbong na naman tas waaahhhhh..sumbungera kse sobra eh..ha3..she's so pathetic tlga..hay nako..kwawa nmn tuloy ni gwpo..awwww..:'(

although im happy,there's something which pissed me off..ang stupid ng atm machines ng bpi...arghhhh..deym!whether i withdraw sa skul or hir sa nbs,lging transaction cancelled..ang stupid tlga..i hate it sobra..yan tuloy,i can't give mama her money and i can't get mine..ammm..cgro il just spend first my own money then just reimburse it kapag nkawithdraw nko..

hay..i have a long day ahead of me..ggwin ko???study chka do homeworks..i have to exercise rin para lumiit tummy ko..it's not that big naman but i want it flat..ha3..

o xa cge na..til nxt tym..:)

oh sh*t!

2005-01-07T14:10:00.000+08:00

m hir in ateneo's lib annex..yeah,it's one of the school's computer station.my pc at home is going nuts and i really hate it!i was hesitating pa nga to use the computers here kc they're so mabagal and time is precious,ayt?hay..ang stupid ng computer ko!!!ampuuu...here's the prob with it:a few months ago, there's this porno site which popped up while i was surfing the net..it came from nowhere..from that time on, whenever i use the internet,it would show up..what's worse is:if this site does not show up, then i won't be able to check my yahoo and friendster acct;if it does, then i can.see how stupid my pc is..sheeshhh...

the other day,i had my parlor day..hihi..i had my hair relaxed..there's nothing wrong with my hair..i just want it to look nicer..well..as what was expected,it has become one!weeee..actually,it was not planned..kse my sister had her hair relaxed ahead of me.true enough,her hair improved..i was inggit.papa asked me if i want my hair done too..being the very mahiyain kei that i am,i just replied.."ikaw bahala.."so before they left for naga,he told me to withdraw from my atm account and do whatever i want with my hair..papa's so bait tlga..hay..hihi..

nga pala..while i was having my hair rinsed dun sa bench,rj was calling me na pala.i left my things with tin kc so i wasn't able to answer his calls.so when i got back to my chair,i checked it and txtd him.after a few minutes,he called na..hay..i didn't expect him to call,but he did..it was so nice of him tlga..hay..we were even teasing each other.how sweeeeettttttttttt!!!hangkyuuuuuuuuuutttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!hihi..

i had pala one discovery the other day..m so proud of it!!!!!ha3..i can introduce who i am pla using three letters only..it's like this..I M K!!! angkuuuuullllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!snaps for me!!!!ha3..

anyway..let's change the topic..at the moment,i'm somewhere between being furious and natatawa..yeahyeah..it's so malabo,pero that's what i am now..ha3.there's this one stupid person(she's a she) who's uber pathetic and desperate!the more im seeing her irritated,the more m getting the nerves to irritate and make fun of her!!!ha3..if ever she's reading this,NAKAKATAWA KA!!!HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!naaawa ako sau..hay..poor you..tsktsk..weh!!!!!!!!the evilness of me..he3.well,she deserves naman my attention eh..un nga lang,hindi ung attention na maganda..ung attention na nangaasar,nangggalit tsaka nmimikon..i love what im doing..see what they did?ambaitbait ko pa naman sana..pero ngaun..grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.........ha3..hangkyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuttttttttttt ko talagaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!ha3..

well anyway..tngnan mo nman,khit sa blog ko extra ka..sna nga talaga mabasa mo 2..ha3..you're soooo......ahahahahahahahah!!!!!bleeehhhhh!!!!

ah basta..m good to those who are good but m a devil to those who are not..grrrrr....he3..

til hir..have class pa at 230..hmuah!

em beck!

2005-01-04T21:20:00.000+08:00

ha3..yahooooooooo!!!!!!!!ftr a long ym of missing wrting entries in my oh-s0-lovely blog,m sooooooo hapi to say that i'm already back!wahooo!!!well,our pc back in naga is getting obsolete na..it's kinda deteriorating.ha3.i would even joke papa na our pc's so high-speed..when in fact,it's the kabalikataran!ha3..wel..buti nlng m hir na..pro there are a lotta tyms na i would tell myself na sna during long vacations,i can bring my pc in naga para i can check my mails,friendster accts and blog once in a while.but anyway..nothing can be more special than spending an almost month-long vacation with your family and friends,ayt?

i didn't do much during the vacation.id love to update u ad tell stuffs abour my AWESOME vacation,but i just can't..bka my mgbukas nnmn kse ng pretty blog ko and y magalit!ehem!harhar..pero so what?!kasalanan ko ba masaktan xa?!eh kase nmn binuksan blog ko eh..haha..woohoo..the evilness of me..hihi..:D

here's a few of the nicest and bestest things i did during my vacation:
1. facial treatment and maintenance-yeah..it's really flattering to see my face improving..kse nga nmn there's nohing more to change..deym!ha3.
2. gimik with friends-ting,bst karl,bst megs and gwapo,to mention
3. super advanced bday treat w/ my bestest buds-niki,bst meg,bst karl,tng,aris,ton2 and of course..gwapo!hihi..
4. inuman-to-death after dinner during my super advanced bday treat-lolo's bar..and bst karl's hws..uhmm..i got dehydrated pla..he3..pasaway!
5. endless telebabad moments with gwapo-i'm missing him soooo badly.
6. endless kilig moments with gwapo-yeah..i spent ym with him,too..as in tyms pla..ha3.
7. endless remiscing of those super kilig moments with gwapo..ha3.
8. xmas and new year celebration.
9. ukay-ukay with family..hihi..i love the pair of ballet flats i saw which unfortunately, i wasn't able to buy.
10. how can i forget my crying moments?hu3..

nyway..here are a few pics to check out!

uhmm..that's me doing nothing..ha3..

new year at lola's house..love the bloody red background!hihi..

imma naughty chic..ha3..

ali and me..aren't we cute?hihi..

another nice pic with ali..

ali's cute lil sis..shobe!!!!uhmmm...she's soooo cute!

uhmm..gotta end this here..have some stuff to work on.

uhm..he3..

2004-12-28T14:54:00.000+08:00

i'm in an internet cafe at the moment. i'm with my 2 best buds, meggy and karl. it's been a while since i last posted an entry here.i missed blogging..so much.ha3.a lot of things happened..as in a lot.by the way..i just cried this morning.i hate this life..i just wish all the people who ruined my life will go to hell.they deserve to.ha3..yikes tlga!hay..i think il just save all my kwento t
il i get back to manila..he3..til here..

my face hurts..:(

2004-12-20T15:21:00.000+08:00

meggy and i are currently killing our tym by surfing the net at a nearby computer shop. i just had my face treated.im undergoing a facial treatment..yeah..to enhance(cuz there's nothing more to change..he3)my looks..chka pra la msabi nag mga gago sa mundo..bwahaha..i really can feel my being super bad..ha3..so what?!after everything that happened and after all the things that they did?who cares?!!!ha3..we also dropped by at the attic,ukayukay..he3.i bought a skirt for myself.it's so nice.and it fits me so welllll...it originally costs 150, but the nice lady lowered it to 120.but while fitting,i noticed that it doesn't have any button.how can i wear it without a button?he3..i immediately told this to the nice lady and she gave it to me at a hundred.he3..hay..although my face is sooooo red at the moment,i can carry myself so well so there really is no problem..he3..:)

there are really people who don't deserve to live..

2004-12-19T22:54:00.000+08:00

deym!what a day!sh*t does happen..hay..i really believe in karma..i know,time will come, everything that those stupid shi**y people have done and have been doing to me will all come back to them..yeah yeah..everything that comes up,comes down..ha3..i'm a bad girl.i'm in the process of being one..these people taught me this.m kind to those who are kind, but m a devil to those who are cruel.hay..buti na lang i'm educated..m far too intelligent to lower myself down to their POOR INCOMPETENT levels..tsktsk..lilyvale boaya..ay boayes..ha3..ang kapal mo!yuck!

wheee..:)

2004-12-17T16:10:00.000+08:00

at last,school is over..m now up to my most-awaited vacation.yipeee!!!!!!!!!i still can't feel christmas that's why i really want to go back to naga na to feel the xmas spirit..yahoo!!!mama and i wil leave na n just a few minutes.we still have to buy some stuffs and then at exactly 845, we'll be off to naga..i just can't wait!!!yawooooo!!!!

i think il stop here na.have a merrryyyyyy merrrryyyyyyyyyy xmas!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm so excited..:)

2004-12-16T23:02:00.000+08:00

if i was so depressed this morning,i couldn't feel it anymore now because..i'm going back to naga!yipee!i already fixed my things and i just cnt help being so excited.my adrenalin's in its highest level.i just love the feeling!hay..i don't think il still be able to sleep well today..hay..:)

depressed+confused=ME!

2004-12-16T08:57:00.000+08:00

a lot of things have been bothering me lately.they realyl make me so depressed and yes..so confused!i cnt understand them and i don't know what they exactly mean.i'm so sad..very sad..:(
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gwapo..yes..he's all i've been thinking of the whole week.he has a prob..i think it's big..i also think he needs help so bad..but the prob is..he doesn't want to share it with me.he said he can solve it by himself and he even promised to be strong this time.i was already assured that he can handle his problem but i noticed that this problem is already affecting us..yeah, i know we're just friends..but the point is..he's not the same gwapo anymore.he's always matamlay(that's what i feel) and he doesn't even talk to me.

yesterday, i intentionally left my cp.i got so pissed off the night before because of his insensitivity.when i went home from school,i immediately checked my cp if there were messages.among the 20 messages i received,one of them was from him.i read it..and it goes something like..

morning kikay..kikay..sori po kung gn2 pkikitungo ko sau ngaun. sna naiintindhan mo..sori kikay..sori tlga..tke cre nlng.

u may probably wonder why i was able to memorize the message.but believe it or not,i did..i read it twice or thrice and it did not leave my mind.i got so pissed off again upon reading the message.i was thinking that what he meant was he wanted me out of his way..because probably,her gf(deym!) said so.i replied agd.this was my reply:

sori kung ngayon lang ako ngreply.sinadya ko iwan cp ko.oo,naiintindihan kta pro sana naiintindihan mo rin ang nararamdaman ko.sinabi ko sau wg mo nko ssktan pro un ang pnprmdam mo.sna naiinitndihan mo.

i might sound so dramatic but this was what i felt yeterday.btw,i wasn't able to send the msg because i was overbilled again,that's why my phone line's cut again..no choice but to reload my old cp..:'(

when i went to school,i called him up and asked if he's ok.he said yes.i told him honestly what i feel and he said that his prob doesn't have anything to do with me.so i said sorry..when i finally hung up, that was when i realized how stupid i am.deym!all the while,i was thinking that i was the problem, only to find out that i completely forgot about his personal problem.it's kinda confusing,but just bear with me.he3.sh*t!i'm so stupid tlga!

updates:NONE!no txt,no phone calls,none!i just wish he would..
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i'm currently suffering from a financial crisis..so bad..gues how mch money i have in my wallet at the moment?roughly..about 15 pesos.sh*t!this is the first time that i got bankrupted..as in zero balance..deym!i dunno what to do..where will i get money for my expenses tomorrow?hu3..:'(
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btw,i finally got a copy of THE LOVELY BONES.got it from bettina..ive been begging papa to give me money to buy it..but he doesn't want to..of course unless it's for school..
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tomorrow's the day..yepyepyep..i'm going back to naga..yipee!!!!i just hope everything will turn out okay..and of course..i hope i'll have a merry xmas..hay..:'(

i want to receive a lotta gifts..i want gifts gifts gifts..he3..

these are all for now..bye!

i'm tired..

2004-12-14T23:15:00.000+08:00

i don't want to cry anymore.i'm already tired.i don't know what to do.i'm fed up with what is happening.:'(

dreams..

2004-12-14T17:59:00.000+08:00

i woke up this moring feeling so groggy. i was so sabog and it seemed like i did not sleep.probably because the lights were still on and the atmosphere was like the night before.even the news about FPJ's death was still fresh in my mind. when mama turned the tv on,i was so interested in the news..yeah..about his death. basta i felt like i was not me this morning..sbrang weird and i was really sabog..

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last night when i went to sleep,gwapo was all i was thinking of.yeah..his problem bothered me so much although i didn't know what that is.pero besides being so curious,i feel like there's a connection between the two of us na whenever he has a problem,i am always affected.i dunno why..parang..like yesterday afternoon when he told me that he has a prob,my heart beat so fast.it was like i could feel his pain..m not being baduy or something pero this was what i felt yesterday..so as expected,i dreamt about him.we were so happy in my dream pero when i woke up,i didnt know how to react.i was teary-eyed but my tears couldn't come out of my eyes.parang the feeling was..natulog lang ako para managinip kaya hanggang magising ako,i was dreaming..and take note:it was all about him..yes..about him..so i immediately got up and texted him.i reminded him to take care of himself and even asked him to promise..he did.

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i was in my zoo class and the dream was still in my mind.i was so sleepy..so sleepy.so i went home right after zoo and indulged myself in an hour and a half sleep.but guess what?i dreamt again..and it was about gwapo again..i really couldn't understand why.i'm so confused.. :(

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that dream was interrupted when mama woke me up.auntie marivic called and wanted to talk to me.she said she was already able to order 5 pairs of flipflops for me!yepyep..you read it right..flipflops!!!yipee..i can't wait..i'm so excited to wear all of them..hay..

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oooppppsss...i think i gotta go..i still have to make my english paper and study for my zoo lab exam..hay..i wish i'll do well tomorrow..

i'm sad..

2004-12-13T22:42:00.000+08:00

yeah..m so makulet..i know..after my english class, i texted and asked gwapo if he's mad. he said no and apologized if he couldn't txt. he has a problem..a big problem..this prob's making him depressed.being a very concerned friend who loves him so much, i asked him what the prob was and asked again what i can do to help.unfortunately..yes..unfortunately, he did not tell me. sbi nya he's ok and he can work on it by himself.but since i'm so makulet tlga..i asked him repeatedly what the prob was..again,he did not tell me until he probably lost his patience and just said..tama na raw..he3..so i stopped na kesa nman mglit noh..besides, ive always been telling him na i'm just hir for him.il always be around to help him.il never leave him..

pro ano tlga kya un?he3..
---------------------------
at last,m back with blogging.i missed posting entries here.my blog had a minor prob and i couldn't fix it..yeah i know..just a minor one..but plsss..im not into html stuff so it was really hard for me to work on it. buti nlng tin is always around.she helped me again with fixing my blog.we made two layouts na pra pacguro..he3..hay..i miss this tlga!im glad im back na..he3..

hay naku..

2004-12-05T14:16:00.000+08:00

napagbintangan po ako sa kasalanang hindi ko naman ginawa..dba ang pangit ng feeling?!sh*t tlga!kng alam lng nila ang feeling ng napagbibintangan!cgro kse msaya na cla..pro tama ba un?masaya na nga cla tas nnggugulo pa ng buhay ng may buhay..bad3p tlga!nkakainis!!!!!!!!grrrrrrrrrrr..sna mawala na ang mga taonga ganun!wen will the world attain peace?i wonder..hay..
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anyway..nuff of those sad thoughts..papa brought us this afternoon to the mall.i was with mama,nikki,papa and tin..we bought a lot of stuffs..christmas gifts na un..ha3..kya luboslubos na..we had a lot of fun and we ate a lot of foods..kso la ako mxdo gna eh..d ko nga lam kng bkt..kse cgro m suffering from dysmenorrhea..hay..:'(so sad..:'(
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nikki and i took pics knna..she had her hair cut and i had mine yesterday..here are a few of those pics:

this was taken when i went home a few months ago..love it!

this was shot just last week..he3..la lng..pacute!cute nmn tlga eh!hihi..

eto tlga knna lng..la lng..he3..

kuha 2 ni nikki..ang panget ng kuha!!!ha3..pero this is far more better than dun sa iba..hihi..

this was kahapon after i had my hair done..ha3..i took this..la lng..gnyan ako eh..ha3..

those were a few of the many pics nikki and i took..xmpre..pretty people must be proud of themselves,ayt?ha3..;)

whew!

2004-12-04T01:45:00.000+08:00

this is gonna be another boring day!hay..;(we have no classes due to the typhoon.there are still two more days to spend without doing anything..hay..i'm not used anymore with work-free days..tsktsk..:(
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anyway,yesterday was a boring one yet i was able to do some stuffs which are really worth the time.tin and i made some renovations in my blog.i wanted it to look more colorful and i wanted a lot of stars..hihi..i'm a sucker for stars really..we also spent time surfing and surfing the net.it wasn't that great,but we still had fun.
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i can't say a lot of things about my experiences yesterday.and neither can i say more with the experiences il have today.probably tomorrow..we might go to sm north if the weather will be fine..:)

i'm back!

2004-12-03T03:37:00.000+08:00

whoah!it's been 3 days since i last posted an entry here..uhmm..i guess i just can't stop myself from daydreaming about the wonderful 3-day vacation i had in Naga.hay..i was really hoping that those days won't end anymore..but just like anything else,they also have to end..i guess i just have to wait patiently for the 17th to come..il be back there soon..;)
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anyway,i think it would be interesting to tell the whole story about my memorable weekend..hay..;D
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11-26
my mom and i left for Naga city..yipee!!!gwapo and i texted each other.hmmm..;)

11-27
we arrived at 6 in the morning.there was no kuryente in our place..so joselle and i had to go to ate toni's house to charge our cellphones.we even unintentionally slept there.ate toni was still asleep whe we went to their house so there was no one to entertain us.we had no choice but to sleep also..he3..
in the afternoon,gwapo asked me to go to their house.we talked about a lot of things..he told me i was getting fatter..which is not true!he was just probably used to the thin figure of his "present girlfriend(argh!i hate to say this!)."my body's more proportionate and "malaman" than hers..ha3..the rest of the things we did will just remain a secret..hihi..bsta i had a lot of fun!!!
i went home at about 6 in the evening.i met megan sa Sol so we wen home together.twas my papa's bday celebration so as expected,there were lots of people in our house..most of them were his friends. we ate a lot of sumptuous foods(thanks to mama!).

11-28
it's a sunday so we had to wake up early for the 8 o'clock mass.it was a sunday so gwapo and i didn't get the chance to see each other.he and his family had to go to ocampo for the belssing of the church..but..m still happy because we texted and texted and texted each other.we were also able to talk to each other on the phone.

11-29
hu3..my last day..i had to make the most of this day cuz it's the last day of my 3-day vacation.gwapo told me to go to their place at 130 i the afternoon but i couldn't think of any good "alibi" to papa..he3..
i went to my dentist in the morning to get my braces fixed.i lost one of the brackets so she had to cut some wire.after going to the dentist,i went downtown to buy hair clips for me and my sister.gwapo asked me to pass by their clini so i did.i went there expecting that he was around,but i kept on waiting for no one.i texted him and told him that il just go back.while i was walking,somebody called my name and then told me,"gitilon man ni maglakaw!"ha3..guwss who called me?twas him!hihi..buti nlng he saw me or else..we went back to their clinic and teased each other,but i had to leave early so i just told him that i'l go to their place nlng in the afternoon.he made me promise that il go there at 130,but i couldn't because i wasn't so sure yet..
after this,i went home and we texted and texted each other again.hihi..
buti nlng ate toni was already asking for the payment of the magic cream my sister and i bought from her.hay..i already have an alibi..he3..papa gave me the money and i hurriedly went to ate toni's house.i asked permission from her and explained everything.she was so good that she permitted me.;)
i went to gwapo's place.i rode the pedicab.like what we did on the 1st day, we told a lot of kwentos to each other.we gave each other a hug..xmpre..we miss each other so much na kse.his embrace that time was the warmest and i could really feel the love..hihi..i went back to te toni's place..buti nlng i went there agad kse papa went there too to pick me up..hay naku..muntik na!he3..
when i went home,we still got the chance to talk on the phone and bid each other gudbye.hay..i hate to leave naga but i had to.i was even teary-eyed when i rode in the bus.:'(

those were the happiest moments of me life.being with him feels like heaven.:)

here's a line from Parokya ni Edgar's song "Tatlong Araw."it fits my experiences during my 3-day vacation.
"tatlong araw lang pala ako naging maligaya,
di ko man lang napuna...tatlong araw ko'y tapos na.."

hay..again..

2004-11-29T15:05:00.000+08:00

i had a really memorable saturday yesterday..i had a lot of fun..i was with gwapo and we talked about a lot of things..including things which involve the two of us.it's so nice to think that after all that we've been through,we're still the best..as in the BESTEST best buds ever..:)and that's because of our love for each other..who would have thought that we can still be friends after everything that happened?i was even wishing yesterday that that time wouldn't stop because i was really very happy..we were really very happy..i guess,that's one of the happiest times of my life.spending time with him is one of the things im always planning to do whenever i go back to bicol.hay..;)im really in cloud9.hay..;)
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darn!!!it's the 28th today..this date really sucks..i just hate this so much.it keeps on reminding me of what happened on the 28th of September.i must admit that until now,the memories of that day are still haunting me and it really sucks.it's killing me like crazy..i just hope ill get over this soon..hay..:'(but..do u think there's really someone to blame for this?hay..buti nlng im so kind..m not gonna have revenge..it's bad and im leaving it all up to God nlng..besides,i believe so much in karma..
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hay..in a few hours,usapusap nnmn kme ni gwapo..yehey!!!:)ill end this here nlng.i still have tons of works to do..:)

yipee!:)

2004-11-27T10:17:00.000+08:00

in just a few hours,ill be leaving for Naga na.it's such a great feeling to be back home..hay..plus..there are only a few things to do, so i'm really looking forward to strolling downtown..but oopppsss..how can i forget going to the dentist?after losing one of my bracket..hu3..:'(but ts okay..:)

darn!

2004-11-26T10:24:00.000+08:00

**darn!
i hate this day!s**t!who else could be the reason?!i mean like..hello?!i didn't do anything bad today..i was a good one..:'(but he didn't realize it.probably because he was just too preoccupied with the the things he did with his "significant(argh!) someone" today and the things she told him which are soooooo not true!!!it hurts me really..i pity him..it pains me to see him not like the person ive known and ive been with before..:'(it's really soooo sad.i can't help it!twas like being killed BIG TIME (2 times,to be exact!).hay..i wish he'll take time to realize all the things i said.i know everything between us is already over..but i'm still concerned about him..i really don't know why.it's just probably because he's someone who has become a BIGGGGG part of my life..i just hope he knows..i just hope he'll open up his mind once again and ponder on these things.:'(
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still,i managed to have a great time today.i ate peanuts with my blockmates..i just love them!we made chikkas and sang songs,too.:)luvYAHguys!
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i also bought tees for my sister and me...they're oh so great!love them!uhmm..;)
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i still have to study for my Math LE tomorrow..i really hope everything would turn out right and good..hay..:'(
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i don't know if i have to feel happy because ill be leaving for Naga tomorrow night.i really don't know..after everything that happened.after messing up with him..hay..:'(
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i'm soooooooooooo sad?hu3..

hay..

2004-11-25T14:50:00.000+08:00

why are there superrrr insensitive and myt as well say..stupiddddd..as in S-T-U-P-I-D people?!i mean..like..hello?the hell cares?i was trying to ring gwapo's fone..wen it was..accidentally(???) answered by some s**tty people..does being a relationship mean messing up with ur man's things?how pathetic..tsktsk,.,.how i wish karma's already on its way.duh?!it really pissed me off..
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again,i tried giving him a ring..and guess wut?somebody texted me..all the while,i was thinking that he became mad because of what happened,but i was soooooo wrong..he left his sim card with another ***argh*** person..duh?!
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was everything done intentionally?!!!!
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why can't just people be contented of what they have?!they already got what they wanted but they still keep on bugging me!i don't want anything to do with them.i mean like..i won't stoop down to their level!!!
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they really SUCK!!!
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i hate them!!!
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gwapo,if ur reading this,cnxa na..i cnt help it..

tired but happy..

2004-11-25T09:08:00.000+08:00

im so sad i wasn't able to post an entry in my blog yesterday.my computer went stupid again and that cookie thing bugged me again..so sad..pero ts okay..
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anyway,i was so happy yesterday.we didn't spend so much time in PE because we just have to get our weight and height measurement.:)
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i was also able to txt with gwapo..how touching..i was even wishing that time would not stop because i was really happy that time..pero xmpre..everything has to end..and that includes the happy,memorable and sweet conversatio we had last nyt.:)i slept well,but woke up this morning so sleeeeepppppyyy...he3..
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hmm..ryt now,im sitting infront of my beloved computer,typing my latest entry.after this ill be recording something..nah!!!!not that i am a singer..la lng..bsta..ts a biggggg secreeettttt!!!!ha3..hay..later,gwpo and i will be txtng each other again..:)night shift..ha3..hmmm..il also make my homeworks and study for my Math LE this Friday.
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YES!!!!i dnt have to wake up so early tomorrow..my class will start at 1030..yipee..ill be able to sleep longer..he3..:)

m so hapi..

2004-11-23T09:28:00.000+08:00

hay..la lng..just came home from school.it was so tiring pero ok lng..he3..i had a lot of fun.btw,i just had the most unforgettable moment of my life..nah!!!ts not about anything ele..u may find it so funny,but believe me..i had a lot of fun..i learned how to do the creepwalk!!!yeah..thanks to my blockmate,Rai..ha3..i had a lot of un..practice really makes perfect..tested and proven..bwahahaha..:)
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i finally bought my gift for gwapo on his bday.ts not that expensive,but i hope he'll appreciate it..effort..:)ha3..i also bought a pair of flipflops for myself.:)i really don't know why i have an unusual inclination for slippers..(the cool ones!)
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hay..after this,ill study na for zoo.we'll be having our first long exam tomorrow..hay..:'(

still sick..

2004-11-22T15:13:00.000+08:00

actually,im not that sick anymore..i just have to spend a few days more dealing with my colds,cough and tonsilitis**argh**im not that sickly kse kya pg ngkksakit,sbra naman..wehehe..anyway,i just finished studying my zoo lecture..actually,it's not yet finished.i still have to continue the remaining lessons tom after my class**coughs**after posting this,il try to solve again my unfinished hw in math.cnt figure out the answer.my classmates and i seem to have different answers..wahehe..one with fraction,the others with plain equations.hay..i wish i was born genius in *ehem* in math..nuff said..i don't have any regrets anyway.;)
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"if u can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with.."

tnx lots tin..ang gnda ng quote..tnx to "tito mar roxas.." bwahahaha.but i was so playful that i made little changes with the quote..it goes like this..

"if you can't be with the one you love,love the one you're with...tiis ka muna ha?medjo matatagalan pko eh.."hihi..ain't that nice?

whooohh..is this really what you call love?ha3..i am really so affected with what happened.but i love the effects..he3..to mention..
I AM ALREADY PARTICULAR/MINDFUL WITH:
1. songs i listen to
2. movies i watch
3. quotes being sent to me
4. quotes i send..and of course..
5. the things i say.

hay..but still..i'm happy with the life i have now.i still feel special..he still makes me feel special..and i love it..:)

i luv him..

2004-11-22T09:25:00.000+08:00

Lying here with you Listening to the rain Smiling just to see the smile upon your face These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive These are the moments I'll remember all my life I found all I've waited for And I could not ask for more Looking in your eyes Seeing all I need Everything you are is everything to me These are the moments I know heaven must exist These are the moments I know all I need is this I have all I've waited for And I could not ask for more

I could not ask for more than this time together I could not ask for more than this time with you Every prayer has been answered Every dream I have's come true And right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be Here with you here with me These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive These are the moments I'll remember all my life I've got all I've waited for And I could not ask for more

I could not ask for more than the love you give me 'Coz it's all I've waited for And I could not ask for more I could not ask for more

hu3..

2004-11-22T09:19:00.000+08:00

ive been thinking about a lot of things a while ago..wla lng..he3..uhmmmm....i mis him..i mis him..i mis him..hay..having colds sucks!:'(

my hollywood hunk..

2004-11-22T05:29:00.000+08:00

Orlando bloom- well done you got the young good looker, heres your mr Perfect plz rate it thanx :D msg me if u liked your result

then..say it!

2004-11-22T03:27:00.000+08:00

this was our song..i love this..:)

You know that I want you babeYou know that I need youYou know that I love youJust say itAm I giving enough?Is it all that should be?When water gets roughWill you still swim with me?So afraid to come closeAnd maybe too slowAnd maybe too muchFor you to consume

And I wanna know if ICan give it to you girlAnd I wanna know if ICould give it to you girlYou know that I wanna say itYou know that I need to say itYou know that I love to say itOur love just goes on and on and onYou know that I wanna say itYou know that I need to say itYou know that I love to say itMy love just goes on and on and onI gave you all that you needThere's no better place you can beAnd I know that in timeYou will believe in meSo please hold out your handAnd lets exchange this golden band'Cause I want you in my lifeI want you to be my wife

My girl so specialI want to give it all to youLoving you on and onMy girl so specialI want to give it all to youLoving you on and on..

i'm still sick..

2004-11-22T03:21:00.000+08:00

i woke up this morning feeling worse than yesterday.my colds worsen.hu3.:'(i cnt breathe well and my throat is still painful.i wish to get well the soonest possible time.i slept yesterday soooooo happy.i was able to text with him for hours and we talked about each other and what we miss..of course,about each other..hay..i know he still loves me.i jst don't know the reason why we're like this.but i really hope that volume2 will come.:)after all,i have lived 2yrs5mos of my lyf thinking that everything happened because of destiny..might as well live the next years of my lyf in destiny.;)hay..after posting this,il be working on my math hw.i couldn't figure out the answer for the last problem.i know i was doing ryt..there was probably a mistake in one of the steps.:'(i slept at almost 2 in the morning.he3..btw..i had a really great dream this morning..it was about what we talked about last nyt..hihi..;)

does he like me?

2004-11-22T02:43:00.000+08:00

Definitely! Someones gotta crush on you! It's Obvious that this guy likes you, so stop doubting it! If hes a little shy and hasnt said anything, maybe you should be the one to make the first move (If you feel the same way of course). If you dont feel the same way, and he has already told you that he likes you, tell him how you feel in the nicest way possible, after all he was brave enough to tell you.

song describing my opinion about love

2004-11-22T02:30:00.000+08:00

Rain--- Guano Apes i'm alone can't wait until i feel your rain so unreal can't find another place of your rain i believe i still believe in your warm rain can't sleep until i feel your rain how can i find Love, Faith and Trust inside of your rain so unreal, can't find another place of your rain i believe i still believe in your warm rain so untrue help me to find through your warm rain I send out my wishes you gave me promises why don't you feel the same (I'm sad, I feel like a little child, somebody left, there is no rain) Oh no, i'm waiting how about your rain? i can't believe i still believe in your warm rain like in heaven i can't wait until i feel your rain so where's your life who's living the rest of your life i can't, i can't, i can't live this life, i can't live this life i can't see in your eyes can't change it, no more tries leave everyone with a smile and you're sad, you feel like a little child somebody's left there is no rain I send out my wishes you gave me promises why don't you feel the same (I'm sad, I feel like a little child, somebody left, there is no rain)

fallen angel?yes,i am..:'(

2004-11-21T13:13:00.000+08:00

it's been exactly 1 month and 23 days since we parted ways.i know i must be over him by now,but i still can't..:'(im still feeling the same for him and i know that he does,too..but there are things around us which are really unexplainable.ive been looking for their answers,but i cnt find them..or..they're just hiding from me.:'(i must admit that ive tried and tried and tried to forget about him.there were even times when i do not want to talk to him anymore.my head keeps on telling me to stop this illusion already..but my heart keeps on outdoing it.my heart always wins..it never loses..:'(until now,i still get hurt..or should i say..i still get jealous when i hear things about them.i know it's not right.besides,i don't have the right anymore to feel that way.i know..but i really can't help it.i don't really know when i will be able to get over this feeling..but as of now..what i know is..i still luv him..i know he does,too..but i don't know why this is happening..hay..im so tired already..Friend Lord,please let me know what i am to him..please..hu3..:'(

:'(

2004-11-21T10:24:00.000+08:00

I'm sick and I'm suffering from loneliness.I hate what I'm feeling now.I really hate it!I hate him!I hate her!Sobrang unfair ng lahat..sbrng unfair tlga..s**t!ayoko na!i hate what im feeling.i cnt study well.hu3..:'(